\Te`di*os"i*ty\

1) Start drinking decent coffee
2) Start drinking decent red wine
3) Therapy

That's my list so far. They're realistic and achievable, surely the point of NYRs, and give me something to give up next year. I'm happy with all my current vices.

 
Not every day needs to be spent in front of a computer screen, nor spent looking at a bookshelf trying to decide which book will take the longest to read. No sir. Today I went fishing. It was cold and grey, and miserable, but fresh and cleansing, and I cleared my head. I also caught two carp, big ones, which disrupted my train of thought, but if I will insist on dangling sweetcorn on a hook I should face the consequences. At least they got a meal, and a lip piercing, which I want, the lucky devils. I came home and cleaned out my goldfish, marvelling at how big they are getting, and resolving to release them into the above pond should they get any bigger. I shan't have been the first to do so, if the monster goldfish rumours are true.

My head is somewhat cleared. The Christmas sentiment and special moments that I cannot and never will again share with her have been frozen and subdued by the side of a pond, a temporary solution until I thaw myself out with a glass of wine. I've no doubt she will permeate my brain again tonight. Perhaps I will dream of her, perhaps I will be unable to sleep through dreaming of her. Perhaps I will get too drunk to dream anything.

Join me in raising your glass to Sleeplessness and her civil partner Exhaustion - you must admire their stamina.

Hello.

It's getting rather late, I think it's time for me to go to bed. Hard day ahead of me tomorrow, existing. Perhaps I'll buy Peep Show after returning the Christmas present she got me, that I asked her not to get. Our relationship doesn't warrant presents anymore; we don't have a relationship.

woke up and for the first time,
the animals were gone.
it's left this house empty now--
not sure if i belong.

at night i trip without you
and hope i don't wake up.
because waking up without you,
is like drinking from an empty cup.