What would be your first act as ruler?
Channel an enormous amount of expenditure into researching a cure for the common cold. It's out there somewhere. Kryptonite-esque.
Who would you banish?
John McCririck. This man is surplus to the nation's requirements.
Who would you give a knighthood to?
Bill Bailey.
Where would you build your palace?
On a rather sexy bit of British coastline that takes away the breath of all those lucky enough to view it from my roof, before I chuck them off the edge.
Who would you put in the Tower of London?
Janet Street Porter. See Q2.
What law would you abolish?
Paying for higher education. I'd put everyone to manual labour anyway.
What law would you introduce?
Free gastric band operations, in return for 1 year of servitude in my kitchens, as a test of commitment to long term weight loss. My kitchens would be full of lovely temptations. 1 lapse = 1 extra month.
What building would you have demolished?
Hull.
