Last night, I dreamt I went on a trip to France. I did not recognise a soul in my dream, apart from one person, who I actually haven't met yet, although it was nice to dream about her nonetheless, as I then woke up to 3 messages from her.
Anyway.
After arriving in France, naturally the first thing I did was go with everyone else to the nearest discotheque to collect our French mobile warranties (stay with me). I pushed my way through the heaving mass of bodies to get to the bar.
"Samsung? Non. We have had trouble with our international supplier. We cannot supply you with a Samsung warranty today"
"What? How long have you known this? I booked this trip 6 months ago, and you only tell me now that I've reached the front of this queue?"
"Madam, there is no need to get aggressive-"
"-I'm not getting aggressive! I'm a dissatisfied customer, that's all!"
Cue burly black security guard.
"Did a member of staff say aggressive? Are you being aggressive? Come with me". And he picked me up and carried me off, not before I heard the Warranty Maid mutter something about me having "the sort of behaviour you would expect from clerical staff". "I'M NOT CLERICAL STAFF!" I yelled. No one cared.
The security guard proved quite nice. He picked me up so he could scan my finger tips on his electronic scanner on the wall, and politely informed me I was barred from the establishment. Then he offered to carry my bags while I went to check in. Not before having a quick trip to the local hypermarket, which turned out to be as big as my desk here at work, but Burly did offer to carry my many bottles of lemonade back to the hotel. The receptionist decided to attempt to fellate him instead of checking my passport, so I kicked her. Room 750!
We set off up the 14 flights of stairs to room 750, me struggling to carry a single bottle of lemonade and my warranty-less mobile. Opened the door, and who should be there but the only other person I recognised, who I actually haven't met yet, although it was nice to dream about her nonetheless, as I then woke up to 3 messages from her. I said that already didn't I?
And then the door shut behind me, and I woke up, and text her back. An eventful 2am.
