\Te`di*os"i*ty\

she says:
i love mens reactions to toys
like my flatmate came into my room to sort out rent, and i forgot to .. tidy up.. some stuff
he got all jittery and left quickly
i says:
i want to live somewhere where i can strew them all over my room like ornaments
must rock for guys to live with a lesbian in a relationship when living with men and having the other half around
i always half expect them to invite themselves in and ask if we need a hand
they'd panic and run away
or end up feeling totally useless and leaving
even better
theyre so not needed to have hot sex
there is only one unique thing they can do. and that is the only thing that is specifically not hot.
tis true
it can be transformed into hot if you remove the man and replace with woman and strapped on bit ooh yeah
less chance of pregnancy also
significantly so
that really is all they're needed for
poor creatures
they must be getting pretty worried
i mean.. sex is clearly better without them, and all sorts of gadgets are replacing them in the homeand we're taking over the workplace
and the road too now apparently
we have dogs for company
and cats
and fish
and we have girls
lord, they really arent needed
unless you're a gay male, then you'd be pretty depressed if all the men disappeared
but if women didnt need men would they all turn to each other?
they should
they could have mass orgies like greco-roman times
we should put all the men including gay men into one big country and women can have the rest
i actually dreamt last week that i found a portal into a purely lesbian world
it rocked
it's out there somewhere
BANGOR!
hah!
it's in a sandy cove somewhere

So now you know. Do all keep a lookout for this portal won't you? Cheers!

Gosh I REALLY don't want to go back tomorrow. Not just because I have to go back to work on Monday (yes, yes, a week later than everyone else, yes I'm lucky to have had all this time off, blah blah BLAH! It's not the point!). The HE Institution That May or May Not be Hull University is a boring, routine and thankless place to work =(

I've been trying to find another job, but Hull is not the opportunity capital of Britain. To put it mildly.

When I get back the first thing I will see is all her stuff still piled up behind my bedroom door and on top of my wardrobe. Box upon box of photos, cards, presents, toys, knick knacks, jewellery, her clothes, her books, CDs I can no longer listen to, CDs she made me, her shampoo, her razor, her hair bobbles, her dressing gown, her towels. Everything. She doesn't want it back, I don't want to get rid of it.

I was awake until 4am last night crying, because I don't know what to do. In the end I fell asleep and dreamt that I took it up there, stopped her on the train platform where she waits to go home from work, left her with it, told her it was nice to see her, that I missed her, and went to wait for the train back down.

This plan would work, if it were not a 12 hour return trip. I would not want to bed down in Glasgow central station. Shudder.

I want a fresh start but can't kick myself into doing it.

On another note, today I spent half an hour trying to find the perfect fish tank ornament. Something tasteful, as I don't like tacky tanks. Something they could hide in, but not restrict their swimming room. Practical and functional.

After going through 3 boxes of natural rock and shelf after shelf of shitty plastic crap, all ridiculously priced (justify charging £13.99 for a pirate sat on a rock?!), I found The One. A 46p clay plant pot.

They're yet to use it, but Fish Boy assures me this is normal. Alan has headbutted it a few times though.

I stood and watched the tropicals for some time. I want a shoal of Blue Lumphead Cichlids in a tank with a violet background to bring out their colour. Gorgeous. One was transfering all the gravel from underneath a rock to another corner of the tank, and any fish that tried to get under his rock got butted. I liked this fish. According to that site they are "Territorial, nage souvent en groupe dans la zone libre, le mâle est polygame". Oui oui. I'd also like a large tank of Mollys in these specific colours. Beautiful.

NANA NANA NANA NANA NANA NANA NANA NANA, FISH GEEK! FISH GEEEEK! FISH GEEEEEEK!