\Te`di*os"i*ty\

...and what I really want to know is...

...what's all the fuss about?

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A WEEK AFTER FILM 5!

WHO WILL DIE!?

WHO WILL BECOME A TEACHER!?

WHY HASN'T MUGGLENET.COM GOT THE DESKTOP COUNTDOWN POSTED YET? THEY'VE HAD 39 MINUTES!

I! SHOULDN'T! BE! SO! EXCITED! I! AM! SO! SAD!

One month into 2007, let's take a look at last month's resolutions:

1) Start drinking decent coffee
Ok, I've never liked coffee. Adore the smell, but it tastes vile. It tastes of burnt things. However, due to an erroneous incident in a well known world-consuming coffee shop chain, I was served a peppermint mocha (and no matter how many tones I say it in it still doesn't sound like "can I have tall hot chocolate with peppermint please"). This beverage is consumable. Quite nice actually. I've since moved on to peppermint free ones made my own special way, particularly when hungover at work (sachet of hot chocolate + single serving sachet of instant coffee + two sugars + whole milk + a biscuit + sausage and bacon roll with lots of brown sauce + a short spell in a dark room or cupboard = a reasonably functional sapped). However, this seems to be as far as it goes. It's extremely unlikely I'll ever drink something even remotely labelled as 'decent coffee', especially if I keep getting it from Star-behemoth.

2) Start drinking decent red wine
Haven't touched a drop. I've even all but stopped drinking rosé (apart from that bottle last saturday). Make it white, make it cheap, preferably make it chilled. If it can't be chilled, give me a pint of soda and ice to slosh in at regular intervals. Make this happen at regular occasions throughout the week. I no longer have delusions of civility and sobriety. I'd like to get drunk instead.

3) Therapy
Now, I had dismissed this as silly, but after tuesday night's mammoth drinking session on upstairs flatmate's bed, I may consider it again. It helped one of them immensely. The othe recommended hypnotherapy to help with various other issues. I'm glad I'm not the only screwed up person in our flats. I'll revisit this one...

4) Stop falling in love with a man after a single conversation just because I'm desperate to get over an ex girlfriend and lead a normal life.
Done this one! Easy! Something inside me was telling me I had to try and choose a direction. Why in the name of a higher deity would I choose men? Girls are so FIT! I am now secure in my officially gay status and only occasionally refer to the list of five men I legitimately fancy, because this is allowed.

5) Oh, and learn to drive. Again. So that I can meet him at weekends.
Him? Him?! I scoff at my delusions! I need to learn to drive again in order to get a life, not visit men! However, I shouldn't need many lessons. I can put this one off until the weather gets better and the evenings are lighter (girly in learning, potentially aggressive when free on the roads).

1 out of 5 ain't bad.