\Te`di*os"i*ty\

Graybags101 has made me think about star signs, which I welcome immensely, as it is infinitely more interesting than salaried NHS students and their bursaries. (*Edit* Just realised that salaried NHS students don't get bursaries, which suddenly makes my afternoon a helluva lot easier).

"Taureans are earthy and practical, and are motivated by finding comfort and security. They also have a highly creative and sensual side and delight in earthy passions, rather than vague idealistic concepts. They are great planners and deal with life at their own steady pace.

They can be wonderfully romantic and thoughtful and can remain committed to a cause or a person forever.

Sudden change is alarming and unwelcome to Taureans. Planning and slow change over a period of time is much more suited. If presented with many different options then Taurus will dig in their heels and stay put. When push comes to shove, there can erupt the most powerful temper".

I do love it when I am able to apply a sweeping generalisation to myself =D I'm the person the women's weeklies write horoscopes for. Of course, if I can't relate to it, it's bollocks.

Good gracious I've been handed some work to do =|

Prompted by bloglikesit's latest post, I have suddenly remembered that soon I'm going to need a laptop (or a stupidly small, compact and sexy little desktop number).

To Mac or not to Mac?

I too have heard Windows Vista is r u b b i s h (the technical term) and by the time I get round to getting a laptop it would no doubt be impregnated with this.

I've never had a Mac and I'm afraid and unsure of the unknown, but people seem to be quite fond of them.

So, yeah, whaddyathink?

...tagged by Chyna_doll:

I most wholeheartedly can't be arsed to do any aspect of my job, ever.

And I tag, if they care, Beanyem, idontknowwhy, ladee-bird, bloglikesit and MenoMama.

Did I have to tag 5? Never mind!

The 3 'mature' ladies in the office have a dilemma. K, who retired last summer after 40 years in the university, has finally given a date for His retirement do. The ladies have 4 weeks to arrange a buffet. Due to budget restraints, the buffet must cost only £20-£25. 60 people are expected to attend.

They have spent 44 minutes discussing whether you can use Value bread, at 28p a loaf, in a buffet, and just how much ham you can buy for £3, and whether that will be enough for 60 people. But will 60 people eat? What are the statistics? I heard only 40% actually make use of a buffet lunch. I heard it was 60%. Well that's thrown a spanner in the works. What about crisps??

I have actually just screamed. They looked at me and asked me what I think of the whole mess. I told them I'll make the fucking sandwiches myself. That's shut them up.

Cancel Life Affirming Decision #4 because I can't pay for the damn thing.

My life is condemned to be one long poorly-paid prawn cracker-eating mope.

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And for various reasons, all posts now Private or Friends only. Thank you for the comments, those that can both see, and see why =)

Friday night:

Filled stomach with enormous bowl of multi-grain-rice-crispies-kiddie cereal before heading to flat upstairs for small pre-night out party. Large amount of chicken dippers consumed, and one bottle of rosé. Didn't feel drunk. 

Six hours later, crawling up the stairs with cheesy chips in one hand, mobile phone in the other, singing Common People into someone's answerphone, sprawling on the hall floor shouting at people about being concerned for their welfare, with a further 10 vodkas in me - definitely felt drunk.

Saturday:

Got up at 2pm. Dined on pineapple juice, a yoghurt, and 4 squares of Galaxy.
Watched TV all day, eating a variety of flavours of crisps. Admired the ice-skating whilst creating a small nest out of the sofa cushions.
9pm: Ate chinese. Marvelled at the vast quantity of prawn crackers so generously provided.
Watched a terrible, terrible film, also known as Minority Report.
Go to bed, pleased with the achievements of the day.

Sunday:

Got up at 10am. Watched the Hollyoaks omnibus until 12.05pm. Showered.
Tidied room by putting everything found on the floor onto the bed. Noticed the pile was 90% dirty clothes. Crammed washing machine to capacity with a variety of coloured items.
2pm: Feasted on an entire bag of prawn crackers, 4 minature meringues, a smattering of crisps, and honey. (Honey is best eaten by smearing small amounts all over your tongue and making an MMM! noise. It is also advised that your flatmate does exactly the same with her honey.)
Watched Dylan Moran stand up DVDs. Read for 10 minutes.
Went to the shop across the road, thus leaving the flat for the first time since having crawled in the door on Friday night. Purchased a large Twix, and B&J's Chocolate Therapy ice cream.
Watched Crufts for 2 hours. Cried at the Friends for Life award. Ate leftover Malaysian fried rice, and ate ice cream.
Watched Fallen Angel. Concluded it was rubbish, but second and third parts must be watched.
Went to bed with some really bad farts.

I wrote a list of things to do, including get a new job, and find an interesting and useful MA to study at a more prestigious university.

Shortly after writing this list, I completed an application form for postgraduate study here at my delightful place of work, decided to move in with the girls in the flat upstairs, and stay in this job, switching to part-time in September.

And lo, I am enrolled on the MA in Women, Gender and Literature.

Oh my goodness, what AM I doing?

Cheating. Unacceptable in every circumstance? Human nature? Something inbetween?

I can't decide if a few blips in my past make me a terrible person, or if they simply were just mistakes that have made no difference to the outcome of relationships.

And what if you are the person facilitating the cheating on another person?

I'm remembering things lately and they're playing on my mind. I don't like who I remember, but I also know I can justify how I felt and behaved in those situations. Nothing is black and white. Everything I do is a hazy shade of grey.

I went to see Ex Ex Girlfriend and former Best Friend and still Best Friend I'll Ever Have Had Ever. She invited me up because she was upset over splitting up with her girlfriend. Off I went.

Ex Ex is the president of a university college in the north-east of England. Subsequently, Ex Ex is always busy. Always. If her room phone isn't ringing, her mobile is making noise, then she needs to check her emails again, then call someone to re/arrange something, then exert her authority over something. This I've always understood, but I barely spoke to her for the entire weekend. She told me she would be stupidly busy this weekend and I'd have to go along with it, which I was fine with. This turned out to be watching football on TV in the pub, followed by watching TWO inter-college matches on a blustery field, as she had promised a friend she would watch him play - someone she sees all the time, unlike me. I took myself off for a walk at half time of the first match and didn't I return.

I walked up a hill and sat in the woods on a tree stump. I walked down the hill, found another gap in the trees, and climbed the hill again. I sat in the sun, looking out over Durham cathedral, listening to the Guillemots' album, and really, really wanted someone to share it with. Ex Ex was too busy being presidential and footbally and wouldn't have sat still long enough to listen to why I appreciated it. Just like she didn't pay any attention to a word I said all weekend.

"What perfume's that, sapped?"
"Why, do you like it?"
*nothing*
*peer round in front of her face, blocking view of emails* "Hello?"
"What?"
"You asked me a question, then I asked you one!"

Hadn't heard me.

"So your sister has a girlfriend?"
"Yeah, I can't believe the only person who's known this long is [Sibling's GF with a Boy's Name]!"
*texting* "Do you still talk to him?"
"What?"
"Sorry...what are we talking about?"
"I don't know any boys with that name!"
"You've lost me"
"Oh, forget it"

She complained that her now ex-girlfriend would come to visit and want to stay in her room and not wander around the college or go to the bar, and that when she did she would be very opinionated and start debates with her friends. At first I was inclined to agree that her girlfriend had obviously liked the sound of her own voice. By the end of the weekend, I now think that she behaved like this as it was a way of actually having Ex Ex's attention for 5 minutes. Every single part of me wanted to scream this at her whenever she turned her back to check her emails again. I wanted to throw her phone in the (pretty) river (that I walked along - and back - twice, alone). When she'd say "Well I've never known you this quiet, what's the matter?", I bit my tongue, because I knew she wouldn't be listening to me after a few minutes anyway.

I could talk about this for ages. Suffice to say I will always love her but she is no longer placed on that pedestal I've always placed her on. She has plenty of other people doing that now anyway. Hopefully I will see her at Easter at home, and she will be less college/cult focussed, and I may get more than 3 minutes conversation out of her. It feels such a shame. I miss her as she was.

Someone in Australia that I've never spoken to before has just said "if everything in life was great, we wouldn't have any special days to remember". This made me think, and the thinking was quite good.

So thank you, random bloke from Australia.

Pray WHY have I been tagged as living in a fish tank? Hmm?! Who keeps saying this to people, am I missing something? Am I being insulted with no comprehension as to why? That's not playing fair.

Own up.

...in favour of a weekend in Durham. Well they did owe me a day off in lieu for the damn open day I did a month ago.

More to follow after the weekend...

Goodnight!