Random things said over the past couple of weeks that have amused me, hereby recorded, lest I forget.
"Have you heard of Radiohead's No Surprises?"
"Er...clearly yes"
"I need to learn to play it on the glockenspiel"
"That peacock was a bastard. My mate tried to ride a peacock"
"Why the devil did they try to ride a peacock?"
"Y'know...I never did ask"
"I don't know why she's bothering to apply for that job"
"Are you referring to the girl stood behind me, filling in her application form, and reading this MSN screen over my shoulder?"
"Hello! You're not getting that job!"
"Oh bless him, he hasn't got a foot...Oh he doesn't look quite right...Ooh eck he's lost an arm! This is political correctness gone mad!"
"What is?"
"Well how can they be expected to win against a man with two arms?"
"Nanna it's the paralympics"
"Disgraceful"
"Grandad wants to know the scores on the football"
"I'll read it out...Wezzam...Wezzam...I can't read that, where's my glasses?"
"I doubt your glasses will correct your pronounciation of West Ham, mother"
